


Ride Home

by littlefullsuns



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, M/M, Mark got to spend his birthday with him for the last time, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25280353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefullsuns/pseuds/littlefullsuns
Summary: Everything happens for a reason, although at times it may be hard to understand. All Mark knows is that he can’t wait to see Donghyuck again someday.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Ride Home

While my life did not flash before my eyes, I immediately thought of my family and friends. 

When it comes to unexpected deaths, it is those who left behind who suffer most. 

It was too soon.

He wasn’t ready. 

He was so young.

Realizing this, I decided there is one thing about death that is in my realm of control—

To tell my loved ones ahead of time that I’ve truly enjoyed my life, and that I regret nothing.

_Lee Minhyung. I love you._

Today marks one year since we found out about my sickness. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully express the pain I feel in my heart. Some days it feels like years since I’ve seen you. Other days it feels like seconds. Exactly one year ago I received the worst news I will ever receive. Exactly one year ago, I had to say goodbye to my father. Exactly one year ago, I started a new difficult journey. Exactly one year ago, I was diagnosed with leukemia. 

Today, I love you just as much as I did a year ago, if not more (if that’s even possible). There were so many painful firsts this year and so many firsts that we were supposed to do together. Today marks one year without seeing your beautiful smile. Today and tomorrow will be the first anniversary of many, of us not being together. Today I am one year closer seeing you again. 

I hope the boys are all doing well, going on new adventures and meeting new people. I still remember our last moments together, I think deep down in your soul you knew I was going to leave because it was the most perfect goodbye I could have asked for. A bittersweet memory that makes me smile and cry at the same time. 

  
  


Remember our first meeting together? The first time you came and spoke to me at school. I was actually so surprised you knew me. Everyone at school loves you, including me. Who wouldn’t? You’re Lee Minhyung, you’re smart and kind, and let’s not forget to add that you’re pretty handsome. You shook my hand and introduced yourself, _“Hi, I’m Minhyung and I’m your team leader, it’s lovely to meet you, Donghyuck.”_ I was somehow impressed by how you acted that day, only because no one had ever been so bold when approaching me. Most of the time, they keep their distance and often show their feelings to me through love letters and gifts.

Our first lunch together even got people talking, I remember everyone being like _“oh look at Minhyung and Donghyuck”, “There will be a new couple soon just you wait and see”_ and I won’t lie I absolutely loved the attention especially when you never denied any of it. I knew from the start that there was something special about you and I knew we would be even more special together. 

From this point, we spent so much time together, here, there, and everywhere. We met each other’s families and friends and everything was going great. My mother absolutely idolised you and even told me myself that you were a keeper and she was not far from wrong. It felt like everything happened with just a single blink. 

The summer passed by quickly. It’s not like I spent my summer elsewhere. Even though I was home alone most of the summer vacation it was still special to me. 

Minhyung made it special. You made it special. 

Even though you had been courting me over two months, nothing had changed. If anything else changed, you became forward and sweeter. 

It’s not hard to fall in love with you. 

I don’t know when, where, and how I fell for you. I just realized one day my feelings towards you keeps growing, that maybe it wasn’t just a simple crush anymore. But that’s how love works, right? Love can’t be explained. Only felt.

It’s like waking up one fine morning and something will just click inside me; like fitting a missing puzzle piece, a chain being unlocked, or finding the missing pair of my favorite socks. It’s feeling all emotions at once that I can’t help but be overwhelmed. 

It was like witnessing the planets align perfectly for the first time and it’s all just for you. 

I have so many great memories with you Minhyung, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. You were always a true gentleman and I can’t say any guy has come close to the dates you took me on. You were so thoughtful and so romantic, always trying to please everyone around you. 

We’ve been together for how many years, everything was just fantastic in both of our lives. You had just started your dream job being a songwriter and I had just come back from traveling. We had been fortunate enough to have been introduced to one another before everything was cut short. Our story had only just begun. 

It’s been over a week since I started doing my chemotherapy treatment. A week after my birthday. I was really sorry we had to celebrate my birthday this way. My sickness couldn’t have come at a worse time. I was having fun and spending my life to the fullest with my friends, my family, and you. 

Of course, like the many unlucky souls we encounter, there hasn’t been a day where I don’t ask myself “Why me?”. It most definitely hasn’t been the easiest rides. Then again, I like to think I’ve done really well since and I hope you are proud of me. In fact, I know you are proud of me. 

Minhyung, I don’t know why I am writing this, because I really hope that this letter never gets to you, because if it does that means I didn’t make it. It also means I never had time to show you just how much I really did love you. I’m sorry I had to leave you once again.

You have shown me what love is and what it feels like to be loved. Every time you kissed me and our lips touched so softly, I could feel it. I got the same magical feeling as our first kiss. I could feel it when our hearts get so close they’re beating as one. 

You are the beat of my heart, the soul in my body; you are me, because without you I am nothing. I love you, Minhyung, you are my home, my husband and my best friend. 

You are the person I know I could turn to when I needed help - you are the person I looked at when I needed to smile and you are the person I went to when I needed a hug. When I am away, it is like I have left my soul at your side. 

You have shown me how to live and you have shown me how to be truly happy. I want you to know that every time I smile, you have put it there. You make me smile when others can’t, you make me feel warm when I am cold.

You have shown me so much love and so much more. I want you to know how much you mean to me. You are my whole world and I love you with all my heart. You are my happiness.

Every night I spent away I had a photo of you on my hospital bed. Each night I would go to bed, kiss my fingers then touch your face.

I put the photo over my bed so you could look over me as I slept. Well, now it is my turn to look over you as you sleep and keep you safe in your dreams. I will always be looking over you to make sure you’re safe.

Minhyung, I want to say something and I mean this more than I ever did before. You were the love of my life, the man of my dreams, my partner. Just because I have passed away does not mean I am not with you. I’ll always be there looking over you, keeping you safe. 

So whenever you feel lonely, just close your eyes and I’ll be there, right by your side. 

* * *

“All those months of waiting, it’s all worth it seeing you today.” Mark smiles, the sadness in his eyes were evident. It was painful seeing Donghyuck right besides him. It wasn’t the same person he knew, the bubbly, carefree, and happy Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck who loves the color yellow. 

Yellow, like the rays of sunshine kissing his skin during the afternoon golden hour. Yellow, like the rows of sunflowers at full bloom by the school gates. 

Today, he was trying. Donghyuck was trying hard for Mark. 

Mark sat with him for eight long hours, trying to stop his tears from falling while imagining having to live in a world without Donghyuck. They both stayed there for what seemed like forever, trying to spend the remaining time he had with him. 

“But I have to leave you once again…” Tears started falling into Donghyuck’s eyes and the happiness within their hearts was limitless. From that moment on, they both treasured the remaining day together. No time was ever wasted. Mark showed him the true meaning of living his life to the fullest. The world constantly changes every day, but their love for each other will never wilt. 

The sun will continue to shine and no storms can they destroy them. 

If there’s anyone Mark wants to thank, it’s Donghyuck. Because he was here, to spend his birthday with him. He almost lost him last year, but he was still here. 

“It’s okay. We’re going to be okay. Thank you for all the love and everything you have given me. Given us.” 

“Minhyung, I have to sleep /forever/ now.” But just like any other story, it has come to an end. Mark never thought that this day would come. He recalled the seconds, minutes, hours and days they’ve been together before Donghyuck gave up his last breath. 

“I’ll be here.” 

  
Everything happens for a reason, although at times it may be hard to understand. All Mark knows is that he can’t wait to see Donghyuck again someday, until then _please_ just remember, he will love him forever.


End file.
